This entry was posted on Friday, May 1st, 2009 at 3:07 pm and is filed under General Word Vomit, Music-related. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
While accompanying my guy on a recent trip to Sam Ash, the salesman made the mistake of jokingly calling me a roadie. My guy quickly made the international “Don’t hit me!” gesture and I had to suck back the foam that was starting to bubble at my mouth.
I have enough trouble with the term groupie; roadie isn’t much of an improvement. I am neither. I am my guy’s girlfriend and bass tech. Admittedly, the distinctions are fuzzy at best: my own line involves a refusal to carry gear or work the merch table. And as much as I like to believe my ability to string and tune my guy’s bass at soundcheck makes me better than the rest, it doesn’t change the fact that I am still, at heart, a fan.
Still, I consider it a privilege to be a part of my guy’s musical career in all my capacities: girlfriend, partner, bass tech, fan, and even critic. It’s a complex balance that does indeed provide insight into the world of music that not everyone is granted access.
That’s why, as I watch my guy become a member of a new band, I thought it useful to create a primer of sorts – a checklist to ensure that we can both enjoy his next musical endeavor. I hereby present:
Top 10 Ways to Know Your Guy Has Joined a Good Band
10. He’s not replacing someone who a) got carted off for starting too many fires b) had a curfew or c) ran off to join the German production of Cats.
9. “Sweet Child of Mine”, “Iron Man” and “Jessie’s Girl” are NOT in the set list.
8. The band doesn’t have a street team … run by the singer.
7. The first photo shoot isn’t scheduled to take place in front of a brick wall or by railroad tracks.
6. The band’s website and press kit are not written and maintained by their fans or girlfriends.
5. Shows are not booked at clubs where a) the bartender is also the sound guy b) the drummer’s mother’s van is the backstage or c) a passport, concealed weapon and inoculations are needed to get there.
4. No member of the band currently owns and/or wears anything circa 1987, regardless of whether they can still zip it up.
3. Phrases like, “Yeah, we have connections,” and “We’ve got a label deal in the works,” are never uttered.
2. The merch table doesn’t include specialty items like cheap panties with the band’s photo on them.
1. When the guitarist calls to schedule rehearsal, he says, “We’re all bringing our girlfriends with us; you should invite yours, too.”
May 1st, 2009 at 3:18 pm
Didn’t I tell you? Jessie’s Girl is in the second set